Friday, 11 November 2016


Healthy and full stop.
I have amazing brownies I made last night, and I thought of putting two scoops of ice cream on top and devouring it while my partner and his cousin watching football. But I made a solid decision 30 seconds before this thought to be healthy.

This decision is not a random one. I have probably made a self oath a good 100 times before to begin 'being healthy' and it lasts two days, maximum three. This time it is different, I know it is different because I am starting to see signs of weak health in me. Everything from my poor skin, regular headaches, anxiety and tiredness... I have a son also.

My son comes in the picture, because not only do I want to be healthy and lively for him all the time, but also I want to instill in him healthy lifestyle habits, diet and sport being one of them. I cannot preach what I don't practice.

I will keep you updated with how this decision goes. My birthday is early next month and the best gift I can give myself is a healthy mind and a healthy body for me to live with!

I love my sweets, and I love them a little bit too much, but I will replace it all with natural sugars... because I love my fruits too :)

I replaced brownies and ice cream with one wheat toast and a spoon full of full fat yoghurt. Good start.

P.S. I haven't studied for an entire week today. ONE week of not reading a single paragraph, I am not proud, just.... I shall explain later. I just hope this decision to improve my eating habits will allow me to study more too. It plays a role, believe me it does.

Good night,

Wednesday, 19 October 2016

Progress report- Check!!

Can't believe I am here. On this blog. Once again.

I feel there is so much I want to express, it's difficult to let my heart splash out all at once. Anyhow, I just pressed "Send" on my first progress report. To be honest I don't see much progress, in fact, there is not much progress. The more I read the more I am lost- in a good way perhaps? I also accepted a 90 minute meeting with three professors in around two weeks time. This is where I will have to discuss and present my findings so far. Did I mention I am a mother?

I feel every time I want to make a dream come true, I have some sort of challenge alongside it. The path to success becomes tougher, then again the beauty of reaching a destination is the ride itself, no? Or that is what I tell myself to keep me calm.

I think I am mentally drained out on many levels at the moment. For one, the state of Kurdistan upsets me, what Kurdish children and parents are going through is unfair, unacceptable, and very upsetting... I hope these tough days pass by quickly, does peace exist? Or is it just a word?

Love Saz, 

Friday, 17 June 2016

Update Update

Why hello there...
It has probably been years since my last post here.
I am a mother now, to a beautiful young boy who has taken my heart, my world and my ever breath. Recently I happen to become a student once again (and this is why I came back to this blog, because I know the days and weeks ahead won't be easy) post graduate once again, and this time a four year journey. I can already feel the tough days ahead, because time is something I don't have these days, but I know I will do best, and we shall see where this journey takes us.

Now that I am back in the study mode, there will be a lot more here. I remember last time I did this, the blog was a great help- stress relief for me - this time it is even tougher because aside from my studied I have many other responsibilities.

Love you and hello again


Monday, 27 October 2014

Life's a whirlwind

Life takes you on a million rides, and I have recently been on a roller coster. I have forgotten how it feels to come home, put my feet up and watch TV or just read a book without thinking of cleaning the bathroom, what's for dinner or taking some life decisions. I honestly don't know how my parents did all this with two kids; or even more, how my grandmother managed with a good 12 children.

Maybe the times have changed? Maybe we have changed.

Anyhow, in a busy, hectic life I make sure still, to find time for my loved ones in one way or another, sometimes not as much as I'd hope for, but I never let a while pass of my missing a friend or family member without seeing them. I admit, when you're busy thinking of life and doing things here and there the last thing you remember is yourself. Hence, self neglect.

I guess the circumstances of my country at the moment inflicts upon my thoughts and affects me on many levels. I keep praying for safety, for children to be able to live a decent life, for parents to stop fearing whether their kids will die by an explosion or if someone will kidnap and rape their daughters. 

In my side of the world life is busy, it's hectic, it's tiring sometimes most of the time and this is when I need to wake myself up and remind myself of that very important word my circle of friends use when life hits them in the head with a stone: Fshaya, fsha! 

How is life treating you? my dearest reader (if you are still reading)

Tomorrow I am going to the refugee camp, can't wait to see the girls there. 


Sunday, 23 February 2014

A humble hello

Wherever you are in the world.

 I have disappeared for a while, work, lots of work and then some planning for a special occasion very soon.

You know how sometimes you feel you need to 'fix up' some things in your life? Those times where you think: "I am over working, or I am always in front of the computer, or I am not spending enough time with family and friends?" It was kind of that stage. Though not for too long. I have decided to live a healthy life. Okay, I know, that sounds so cliché, so... eeeeer, anyway (I can't find the right word) but you know what I mean.

So! I have decided to never, ever, ever work at home! So when the clock strikes 5, or when I am not on field, then that's it. Things can wait. I have also decided to go back to my sport and walks - so the 6 am walks are in and so are the evening walks! That is a promise to myself at least 5 days a week! Definitely the best decision I have ever made!

And finally, in the evenings, I only do 20 minutes of social media/ news/ online time! And since then, life is just so much better!

So all in all, if you are one of those people feeling very soon you will drain out, then take action before you actually do drain out! Change little things in your life and within a week you will feel a world of difference.

Trust me


Wednesday, 29 January 2014

Future Home

Dearest... (whoever you are, wherever you are)

People dream of mansion houses or apartments with a million-dollar-view where they can see the world at their feet, feeling superior to all.

If I could I would live in a home not a house. Two options are in mind, first one is in an old neighborhood, you know, one of those where children play outside, where everyone knows each other, where on your sick days the neighbors bring over some soup. From outside, my home would be like all the others, hidden away behind the main entrance, with lots of trees hiding the home in its shadows. Inside it will be its own world.

every corner will have a meaning. Every thing will have its own story. Every friend will feel its their own home as they join me for chai (tea).

The interior would be dark wood, various antique furniture. Splash of color here and there and of course lots and lots of quotes everywhere! But I would not touch the design, I want to keep that 'old' sentiment in it, I like the classical older home designs you find in some of the suburbs here.

If I had to live in a two-story house, then I definitely want it to be small, tiny in fact. I want it to have a balcony filled with plants and flowers. I want to have my breakfast everyday in that balcony. Not too high from the ground, because I don't want any grand view. I want to see the neighbor's kids going to school every morning,  I want to be able to call out for the veggie man going through the neighborhood with his car. I want to listen to calm music in the evenings and be able to say hello to the lady in the balcony opposite me at the same time. I want to be able to sit down, and be inspired from everything around me.  I want to type away my stories and my writings in that balcony...

You never know, maybe someday I will have my little home
Love Saza

Tuesday, 14 January 2014

A little of love

Give love

It's the 14th, a special day. And it just happens so that every 14th I feel I need to express a lot. I have put myself into this routine for so long now. Sometimes to one person in particular, other times in general. Anyway, I am blabbing already!

Life in my part of the world is good. I was thinking, what would happen if the whole world loved and no one hated. If we all loved, no one would hurt another, and hence, everyone would be happy. Would you agree it would be a rather boring world? hmm... maybe!

Not sure if this made any sense at all, but I know if ten years from today I came back and read this entry, I will know exactly what I meant and how I felt, and that's what's important, right?

Good night for now
Saza - Just know a little love in our life, is all we need.