Here I am, where I wanted to be

My dearest...

Baaba's tasbih in my hand,  at my arrival to UK. 

Baaba, Daya, little brother, loved one, friend, colleague, cousin, neighbour..... (I would be lucky if one of you read this!)

Here I am, making a dream come true. Here I am, almost there. Here I am, no longer years but counting days. Here I am, where I wished to be.

In the past two years. With every shining star. On both my birthday cakes. On every religious pilgrimage. At the end of every prayer,

I would wish and pray that I could make this dream come true. To study alone abroad for an entire year. To get the experience, but also the knowledge. To challenge myself. To make me believe that yes I can achieve something this great. When I see all the stress I am in, the deadlines approaching and sometimes feeling my sentences are not making sense and the word count is not going up I try to remember those times where I wished and wished to live this moment.

And when I ask myself, I know that if the time went back then I would wish and pray for the same thing. Hence, sleepless nights, hair fall, weight loss, bags under the eyes, night mares, homesickness, loneliness, what ever the sacrifice might be it is all worth it. I know it is.

I won't say good night- because my night is only just starting.
But when you do sleep I wish you sweet dreams!

Saza- tired but hanging in.