My
dearest… (I am thinking there is only going to be one or two of you who will
end up reading this!)
I am sitting
on my bed, in my room in Erbil (I know this is going to sound ridiculous but I am
listening to a recording of the sound of rain- that's how much I miss rain. Yes
so right now as a I type in the hottest summer month in this country I am
tricking my brain into thinking its winter and it is raining cats and dogs
outside!) while everyone else are sleeping.
These
final nights I don't like to sleep, because I don't want to close my eyes and
wake up to realize it is already the next day! Because when it is the next day it means I am closer to leaving. A day closer to waving good bye from distance to my father, mother and brother.
It
does not matter how independent you are, how free you are and how outgoing you
are, when you live alone life is very different. When it becomes evening and you
walk to your room, close the door and it is just you, your books, and some music
till the sun rises (or should I say till the clouds appear) the next day
then life is not always very sweet. Usually I leave with tears and sadness,
however this time around there is a change in my attitude.
Maybe
I matured, maybe I have become stronger or maybe it is a new me. But this time I
am excited to fly out because I feel this mission is almost accomplished. I feel
as though I want to suffer a bit and bare the hardship so I can feel the fruit
of my hard work. This time round I want to fly out so that I can return having
made one of my lifetime dreams come true. (Even if it doesn't come true I am sure I will
learn many lessons as well)
It is likely I am going to spend most of my
time in a little room all alone by a lake view I know I will
not feel bored. At times I will feel
down and blue, I will feel stressed and fed up but my dear reader life is only
life if every morning we wake up and there is a challenge waiting for us. I
know it is going to be hard, I know there will be nights I am going to put my
head on the pillow with tears, I know there are going to be days where I wish I
never started this journey, I know there will be moments where I will feel like
an utter failure but I also know when I make it through to the end I will make
a dream come true. It will all be worth it.
My
dearest….
Success
doesn't come easy; dreams don't come true without some real sweat and
sacrifice. That is why after an entire year today as I stand in front of a
challenge I approach it with motivation and excitement. If we want something we need to work hard for it. Simple as that.
