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| Where I am & what I'm doing right now |
It is one of those nights where I just wish I could be sitting in our family room back home. Dad would be there with the kettle and the tea, me, mum, my brother and maybe even one of the girls might be at my place. That's what I am yearning for right now.
As I am dreaming of this, I remind myself of the words of my dear friend NQ who told me when you almost reach the peak of the mountain, that last part is a little too steep and feels like it is the most difficult, as if it will never end. That's where I stand right now and she is right. It is so steep that every single step needs a bucket of sweat.
There are about 10 or 15 of us scattered in different parts of the computer room in the library--the only section open at this time--true I am stressed, and feeling a little down but I was telling LK (Oh Yes! LK is a sweet Kurdish girl who does night shifts in the library, so she's sitting in another corner and every hour or so she comes to give me a snack or recommends I listen to a song) even this suffering and pain feels good because I know it is worth it in the end. As for the dissertation it seems tobe coming together, though there are little gaps here and there that I am not too happy with... it depends on my mood. Sometimes I'm overjoyed and I love what I am writing, other times after every sentence I look at the word count.
Sweet dreams, though I am still wide awake like an owl drowning among all these papers
Saza, needs a huge hug from daya (mum) and baaba's (dad) wise words and SK's motivation.
NOTE: If you look to the right of the picture you will see 230 grams of Cadbury chocolate- My fuel tonight!
NOTE: If you look to the right of the picture you will see 230 grams of Cadbury chocolate- My fuel tonight!
I am sure you are in better mood now.
ReplyDeleteI should have brought you some sweets from my factory when i was in Nottingham (not sure if you were there as well that time or in Kurdistan).
Kulka SMILE and SMILE
Deleteeven when you're sad smile..... no need to be depressed- this is all a phase in life, you only live today once, and what we feel right now is not what we will feel tomorrow!!
chocolate works believe me!!! I think you need a good roller coaster ride hehe
:)
i am trying to smile, but there are tears as well (usually when nobody sees).
DeleteAs it comes to roller coaster... When i was in Slemanyi in march i went with my beloved - but also crazy - brothers to Shari Yari. I will not do that again :))) - and i just only sit next to our dear Bahoz on a chain merry-go-round (or however it is called) - it was one of the most extreem experience in my life. Yes, you are right - i need them all, my greatest people and my greatest country (its my roller coaster )- i just need to survive till next march.
i dont want to sound harsh.. but honestly you should start writing about new things , i used to like your articles in the start but now its like chewing the same stuff over and over again !i wish to see more serious subjects on kurdistan , than just mentioning '' nest'' and '' future is ours'' !
ReplyDeletethank you
Dear Anonymou!!
DeleteI have academic writings on academia, there are opinion columns on issues in kurdistan in Rudaw on a weekly bases and some features every now and then in the Kurdish Globe! :) So there is a lot out there.... so I think all those give me enough reason to blab on and on on this blog on my thoughts and opinions :) even if it is a repeat.
thanks for the note :)
Its Sazan's blog - a place where she is sharing thoughts and feelings - thats what is in her mind and heart - and nobody is forced to read - and lets be honest - to impose what she should write about. We all are free (thanks to God) - Sazan to write whatever she want and we all to read it or not.
DeleteGreetings!
I see that my title as 'Anonymous' has been usurped, so let's use this instead.
ReplyDeleteThe fact that we know that everything worth doing is difficult does not make the doing any less difficult. Just keep trucking on Sazan, you're almost there. Once you've handed in your dissertation you'll have plenty of time to relax and enjoy the company of your family, friends, and city. We all know you can do this.
As for the suggestion that you should write something else, I feel quite the opposite from the Young Pretender. You write plenty of things in plenty of different forums, and it's great that you have this blog as an outlet to express whatever you happen to be doing and feeling. I'd be shocked if your writing WASN'T all about study at the moment, as I know from personal experience how much time and effort it takes to get a dissertation written.
Keep on going Saza, you have an army of friends from all around the world who are all cheering you and and eagerly anticipating seeing you on the podium at the end of the race.
Dear Amicus....
ReplyDeleteMy army of friends around the world have conquered the dream with me!!! How thankful I am for all the motivating words and support over time. For a complete stranger to take the time every day to read a post and comment it means the world to me. In my life, it is these small things that have the greatest meaning. Thank you! thank you! thank you! or in Kurdish, ZOR SUPAS!