Thinking Back...

Why is it that in my happiest moments I come to write and express here?

Is it because so when I read back I realize the depth of each moment of my journey in the UK far from home? Or is it to show appreciation to all the people in my life? Or maybe it is to understand the stages of change taking place in my own life.

Either way. Tonight, after a walk in the snow, a Skype session with mum, an email to dad, an inbox to my brother and a long email to few friends I learned that a group of my former colleagues from university days are in the house of a close friend of mine. She married to another one of my friends. I wrote something brief to them. It was something along the lines of: Enjoy your time together, support one another and never let go of your friendship because you don't realize its importance till you're far. I guess the few sentences I wrote came out from deep emotions and they felt it.

Before going to sleep I heard a notification on my phone and here is what I received as a reply (I have cropped out the faces).

The signs read: We Love You Sazo

I look out at the snow from the bed of my dark room, and look back in on the laptop on my lap and the picture….These are individuals who I might have judged at first, who I maybe was not close friends with, or who I cherished in my heart and respected. But now I realize what great people they are, I realize their importance in my life and how their encouragement, support and belief in me has affected the person I am today.

I can't believe in this picture the youth who were students with me in the most amazing days of my life in university are now a "wife" and "husband". Another friend has become a "mum" and another is a soon-to-be wife. I recall the picnics we went to, the tears we shed together, the laughter, the arguments, and jokes. We grew up together, we watched each other's mistakes, we had our share of difficult days but at the end of the day lifetime friendships were formed. We are exactly this: A FAMILY.

I am sad for all the times we live away from each other, for all the time we could have spent together but didn't, I am sad for every missed opportunity that we could have learned from one another but we didn't. Back home, we were too busy with paving the path to our own future that we (or I in particular) took their presence for granted. But today, in this small room, so far away from home, I regret it. If only I was back there I would have done things differently.

 At such a moment you don't know what to do but thank god. Sometimes I am thankful for this distance away from family and home, I am thankful that I have had to suffer in this journey… because this endurance has made me realize things that I would have never learned or realized if I lived back home. It has taught me life lessons…. I know that there are many important individuals in my life who I need to be there for. Who I must support. Who without them I wouldn't be here today. Individuals who I wish I could do something for so that I can rest my mind in peace, I wish I could have been for these people more, I wish I was present in the happy and sad days, I wish and I wish and I wish… but it's not too late, is it?

I learned this lesson the hard way. But at every opportunity I have to talk them, I tell them to appreciate each other, because we are a group of young individuals who share a lot of core values, who respect each other's differences and always were proud of each other's successes...

To those who took the time to write me those papers, who timed the camera to take the picture, who made the time to send it to me, to those individuals who keep supporting me, who believe in me and whose friendship I cherish. Thank you! and forgive me for all the times I may have taken your friendship for granted.... when you get carried away with life, sometimes you take things for granted without realizing it... Thank you.....