My dearest…
You will be excited to know that I
am not sitting in my dark, little room in another country all alone. For a
change I am at home, in our house with my family. I have no reasons to complain
and absolutely no right to be upset or sad. Everything I could wish for I have.
Mum, dad and little brother are all well, loved ones are well, and my friends are
as loving and as supportive as they have always been. What else could I ask
for?
Having said this, I saw something
today that has been eating my insides. A feeling of guilt and frustration is
slowly decaying me to pieces.
Mum and I had just finished some grocery
shopping - you know in a mall, trolley, cashier and then the guy who puts your
shopping in bags, puts in the trolley and insists on taking it to the car so he
can earn his extra 1, 000 ID.
I was already feeling guilty and
horrible in the inside. While I was indulging in shopping, where I could
probably purchase anything that I felt like eating for this evening from the
shopping center, there was someone who had probably left his studies to earn
his money by putting my goodies in plastic bags and placing the bags in the
car, which I can do with my own hands (I don't
like people doing this for me to make my life easier, it simply makes me
feel bad- even though I know it is the source of their income). That thought
had not had a chance to perish from my mind when I saw something that will
probably remain in my mind all night tonight. I will might even dream about it
too.
A man, around 40 years of age had
stopped his bike by the side of the road. In the back there was a basket with a
warm bag of samoon (fresh bread made at the local bakery). The car in
front who was also parked there starting driving backwards, he hit the bike and
it fell. As it fell all the samoons dropped out the bag and onto the road….
The
bike's owner ran, picked up the bread one by one, placed it in the bag. He'd
just finished when the car driver bothered to come out his car… I didn’t see
any apology or conversation between them. There was the rich guy with a huge
belly and a fancy car, and a man who was on an old bike taking home dinner for
his children. Mr. Wealthy drove away, and the man stood there looking at his tires,
this was when I saw the tire pump which
had also fallen down. He made sure the wheel was still in place…..
Before I
could continue watching the green light of the traffic had appeared and the cars
behind me began the orchestra of horns and I too drove off….
Why is
guilt eating me? I hate this. Why do we have to live in such an unequal world.
We are all people, all individuals, why is it one lives better than the other. Why
can't others have the food that I have, and the shelter that I have. I can't
help but think of what the man and his family are doing tonight. was it a good
day for them? Was it a bad day? How many kids does he need to feed? Are they
still at school? What is the future like for them?......
Good night.
