Don't forget....

My dearest,

Life is hectic and busy. It is full of action and everyday there is another "To Do" list. We run around chasing the hands of the clock and at the end of every month we get paid for what we do. Some of us love what we do, while others have no choice but to do what they do.

My dearest, if you are running after the hands of a clock five days a week from 8 to 5 then take the time every night to remind yourself of the little things that you should not miss out no matter how busy life maybe.

Don't forget to look into the eyes of your father and see him proud of you
Don't forget to play with a young child, and watch them eat, crawl and smile
Don't forget to keep in touch with those who are dear to you

Live your hectic life, but every now and then ask someone to read to you as you fall asleep; go on walks, alone; look back at pictures from 'back in the day' and do pick up the pen and write your emotions, feelings and thoughts. Most importantly, never be alien to yourself. You must be your own best friend. Take the time to speak to your mind, and heart.

Good night,

Saza - My book is waiting for me! By the way I am waiting for my little niece to come to Erbil.

The hidden message

To my dearest Reader - or maybe readerS,

Woke up to snow for the first time

It is Thursday afternoon. There were so many commitments that I could have made, but I chose the best option. While the entire family is out, I decided to spend my Thursday evening at home. My life is always busy, there is always something going on even though I often like being alone or to have a quiet evening with my thoughts. 

A person dear to my heart flew away,

flew before the sky had a chance to appear with it's morning colours,

flew away and left behind what I love most in this world,

it was as though dear one was sending letters from the sky

The snow in our little garden was like icing sugar sprinkled on cake, 

I felt like I opened my eyes in fairy land. 

It can't be a coincidence. Could it? How is it that I sleep upset and wake up full of hope, and life despite the fact that I know somehow the place I live in won't be the same for a while. 

I love it how those close to me, those who  I love, those who matter manage to make my heart smile and wipe my tears no matter where they are... even when in the sky. Even without saying a word. 

Saza - Living my days as if it was a miracle. 

Perfect Day

And the most perfect gift thanks to HS

My dearest reader (two or three of you out there...)

What is the perfect day? Can you define it? Can you think of a day that was perfect? 

Today, if I had to describe my day in just one word then it would be "perfect." Yes. A day that was just perfect in every possible way. It was day two of a new path in my life, the start of a career, and I must admit seems like I might have landed on my dream job in a team of amazing people. 

I received a little letter from a dear one -- yes, a hand written letter. I am so glad there are still people in this planet who take the time to hand write a letter. So much more special--right? And I received the perfect book mark as a gift. 

It was a busy (but very fruitful) day with lots of smiles. A surprise birthday for one of our colleagues, a few brief meetings, a new project underway, two articles to write. In between all this, I receive an email from SD in India with updates on my Indian niece which alone was enough to make me smile for the rest of the day. 

The drive back home was a little dark, but it was under beautiful rain. Home with my parents, in front of the television. Dad with his newspapers, mum watching TV, and me on the internet (and since it is a perfect day, the wireless has a full signal) updating something on Mandalawi - I was about to make tea when the bell rang a dear one joined the family gathering. 

Perfect. At times like this I just have to thank God for everything. Of course there was stress, of course there is a lot on my mind, and life is far from perfect. But we can decide for a day to be perfect through our eyes. 

Saza - Wishing you a perfect day

[I wrote this yesterday, but I didn't realize it was saved but not published]

Don't be afraid.

Have you ever made a decision that you didn't like?

Have you ever felt situations force you to take a certain route?
Have you ever felt like forget emotions, I must make this decision to get to what I want?

The problem with having a strong personality and a presence is that you can't accept being walked on. You can't accept others leading and you following. You were not brought up to be bossed around, but you are brought up to make decisions for yourself, make your own plans for the future, and take responsibility for your own actions.

Make a rational decision. If those around you are also rational than they will take on your decision, if they loved and cared about you then they will listen to what you want. If they didn't then be sure you made the right choice by being rational. Because only when you make such decisions will you know if those around you really care or not.

I admire those who stand up for what they want.

Life. Wounds. And everything in between

My dearest reader,

Life is beautiful. Google image. 

It is true when they say the years are passing swiftly, and it is all days of our lives that is gushing in front of our eyes. It is true every year you have a birthday it is not just a number going up, it is not just a celebration of that lucky day when you came into the world, my dearest reader it is much more... much much more. 

For me, recently I have learned every year, everyday, every week and every hour we become wiser. Every experience and every encounter that may happen adds to our personalities. Of course, you would be naive to think all these experiences are happiness, joy and great success. No, my dearest, most of these experiences are the exact opposite. 

I did not realize, but I have come to embrace every experience and see the positive side of everything (seems like reading all those Coelho posts and books is actually having an impact) sometimes in life you need to reach a point where you can laugh at what puts you down, where that gush of wind hits you hard and you fall badly on your knees-- and you get injured too-- but you manage to stand up, keep walking, crawling or running while healing that wound of yours. 

So, if you feel like you've got a wound stand up right now. Don't run, crawl if you have to, but move forward and heal that wound YOURSELF. 

Have a great day

Saza

One simple question.

To the dearest two reading this + AS.

A close friend of mine, who I believe is going to be the next big philosopher whose books will be read and studied by our grandchildren, sent me a random message on the BlackBerry two nights back which read exactly this: Sazzz have you ever asked yourself why do we love the people we love? With lots of stress, some misery of my own and piles of papers, and files on my bed and a laptop trying to finish off something I was working on this question came at the wrong timing. So, I am going to reply to her here. 

I believe in many of our preferences in life we have underlying reasons. However, when it comes to love I think it is a different matter. 

[I just wrote a loooooong essay response to this, then highlighted it all and pressed BACK SPACE on the keyboard] A.S let me give you one simple quote: "Love is a serious mental disease."  Hope this answers your question. 

23 and 2 days

Dearest...

Two options, A) you either love me for writing a very short entry two days back, or B) You are upset that I didn't express enough.... if you chose option A then I am afraid this entry is not for you. Because I have a lot to say. And I am going to say it all.

Now that all the birthday celebrations from family, relatives, friends and colleagues are done I want to take a few minutes to look back at my year; 22 was a special year for me, I finished my MA and made one of my dreams come true. At 22 I found some very close people in my life, that have become some of the most special individuals. In the past year I lost one of my uncles and it brought a dark cloud to our family, although with that sadness I also witnessed many happy moments with my family and friends. Including the marriage of two of my best friends, the birth of two beautiful children (even though they are so far away from me), the graduation of my favourite cousins, and I managed to visit UK, Iran and Egypt.

When I was a young girl, full of hopes, dreams and ambitions -- I would like to think that I am still full of that positive energy-- I always wished for my age to stop at 21. I imagined 21 to be the perfect age. Of course, now I know that there is no such thing as a perfect age, reality is very different. I left 21, soon I left 22 and now 23.... the years are passing by like blowing wind. Today, as I write to you, I don't want the years to stop. I don't want to freeze in time and  I don't want to stop growing. Every year there is an experience that gives a life lesson, every year brings winds, storms as well as sunshine and rainbows.

When I am 23 there are a few goals that  I have set myself, above all I want to begin my PhD, although I am aware for reasons beyond my control this may not happen until another few years; if not, then I would like to work on my second book. I have a feeling 23 is going to be special and unique in its own way. I am also going to be aunty to the children of two of my closest friends, a baby boy due in May and a baby girl due in April 2013. I guess having a 23 year-old aunty is going to be super cool - yes? no? Of course yes!

 23 might be a turning point in my life....

Saza - getting old (joking!)